Archives for the month of: December, 2010

It’s always the littlest things that people forget.

But it’s always the littlest things that count.

My day started off slightly gloomly, affected by my colleague’s melancholy. The gloominess of the invisible sky above the crown of my head seemed to just aggravate as the day goes along, together with the “aura” emitted from her. I somewhat believe in positive/negative energy.

Anyway it had been a rather fruitful day of christmas gift shopping and catching up with dear people to me. This incident somehow revealed to me how blessed I am. I received facebook messages from friends I just met not too long ago, expressing their concern,regret and then support. It really touched my heart as they were so sweet and genuine although we did not have too many encounters with each other.

I am fortunate to have people around me who always believe in me and sees potential or capabilities when I could not see. It matters so much because it gives me an extra boost while I am struggling to live up to my own expectations to myself.

I feel sad for some people when they do not see the blessings they have in their life or the great people that they have around them. Do one really have to lose something to know the importance of it?

May I never take the littlest things for granted 🙂



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Surprisingly I slept through the whole night, only waking up at 6am. Normally when I am troubled, I would just keep waking up throughout the night. Guess I’m doing good 🙂 Though my heart was feeling slightly heavy. I think it is a mixture of different couple things. Probably it’s the stress from work, the embarkation from the end of one chapter of my life to the next chapter, personal expectations, and more.

Everything happens for a reason.

I really can’t emphasize that enough, it is scary to look back and see how events mapped out and where they lead to. All these experiences really helped in my understanding of people, love, expectations, …

Let’s talk about love a little today.

Why do things go wrong?

Because most of us got a wrong illusion of love.

I can never use the word “love” carelessly when it comes to telling it to males who I was romantically involved with.

Love is not just a fleeting feeling.

Nor is the adrenaline that rush down you when you see the person.

Love is not a feeling, love is a decision you make and continue to make in order to create an experience that is described as love. Love is an action that if you don’t use it you lose it.  Love is like any communication, if you never send it out, you won’t get a return.  Love is something you give to others not something you feel because something happens to you.

Most of my life I was under the delusion that love was a feeling, something that was going to happen to me. Love is not something that happens to you but something that you make happen to you and happen to others. Love is something that grows from your actions and decisions and if you don’t have it and or not experiencing it then there is something you don’t know about love!” –Grant Cardone
Read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/love-is-a-decision-not-a-feeling-777572.html#ixzz18mm1WVfV

Credits to: http://mihaisk.deviantart.com/#/d2pt7en

Why shouldn’t you use the word “love” carelessly?

Although I never used it in the last relationship I was in, I was being told that he loved me. And indeed, it set some expectations and hopes into me.

Words need to be used responsibly. Love itself is also a responsibility.Using it irresponsibly sets false expectations and hopes in the other. Because to some, “I Love You” may be something really significant.

Love..is when you strip everything off from that person and you still love him/her.

Even if the person lost his/her great job, beauty, got scarred, crippled, poor, and so..you still love him/her.

Not possible?

It is..because I’ve really loved before.

For those who don’t know, I was in a 8 years relationship before. There was of course a lot of turbulence inside of the relationship, especially when both parties are so young and the relationship had been so long. We had strong feelings for each other, perhaps contributed by time or maybe because we were best friends with each other. It was my first relationship, therefore I was uncertain if he was the one and if that was really love. Was I just used to him being the only guy in my life, and the relationship has just became a habit or it was really love??? There were many times when I questioned myself if I loved him? And after a process of questioning myself, I knew I did.

My interview to myself

1. Will you forgive him if he cheats? He mildly cheated/deceived me before but I always took him back. And though painful, if he really did so and ask for forgiveness, I would.

2. If he doesn’t have what he has not, would you still feel the same? Yes, I believe in his abilities to be anything.

3. If he got crippled, scarred or whatsoever, would you still be there? I stuttered a little at this…never a be fan of decapitation. I pondered longer at this and finally, it’s a yes. It matters at the same time and doesn’t matter at the same time. I don’t really know how to explain it.

4. Would you rather bear the pain of he cheating on you or rather he died in an accident? I could feel the stab at the thought of either possibilities as I thought about it. I was really surprised with my own answer actually. I would rather he cheated on me, left me than him dying. I can’t bear the thought of him no longer being alive, even if he wasn’t with me.

And then I knew I really loved him. The last question was kinda redundant because it was pretty obvious.

5. Would you die for him, like shield him from an accident,etc? Yes.

Love is never judgmental, critical or selfish. It is always forgiving.

So where have all of us gone wrong?
We didn’t fall in love, but we are in love with the feelings of being in love.
Why do potentially good relationships, or marriages break apart? Why do people cheat?

Because they thought that love is just a feeling.

Music can be very therapeutic in many ways. It helps one to sort out of emotions,  or even sort as a form of release especially when one can relate to the lyrics. Many months ago, I was doing a search on breakup songs (I know it seems kinda dumb but I was in quite a mess beginning of the year) and couldn’t really find a really nice list. Therefore I’ve decided to put up a list of it now that I am going through another one. Actually the songs are really nice to listen whether you are broken-hearted or not.

I’ll continue to update on this list and add more categories.

List of MOVING ON/ BREAKUP SONGS

1. Alanis morrissette-Narcissus

Not exactly my favourite tune, but like the interesting lyrics. I’m sure most have met people as described in the song 🙂

2. Stacie Orrico – I’m Not Missing You

I would say this song sums up my romantic relationships this year.

 

3. Joy Williams – If You Wanna Go

I really like the melody and the simplicity of the lyrics. And it also captures the essence of my current breakup.

 

4. Letoya Luckett – Don’t Need You

Was on my constant playlist beginning of the year.Very nice motivational song with great bass. (Nice for runs)

5. Pussy Cats Dolls- Hush Hush Hush

Will always love this. Favourite song to dance to:)

6. Nelly- Just a Dream

Although I like the cover of it done by a girl on youtube much better.

7. Bruno Mars- Grenade

One of the latest songs at the moment. Easy to listen to.

8. Ne-Yo – Single

A good addition to the playlist with a nice rhythm.

9. Glen Hansard- Falling Slowly

Not exactly a breakup song but it has something very soothing about it. I love this song from the first moment I heard it few years back. Breakup or not.

10. On hold…

 

If there’s one lesson I’ve learnt within the past year, it’s that…

life really don’t go the way that you plan

It’s finally friday and I’m down with a bad cold, have a wedding that I do not wish to attend and not looking forward to the weekend which I was originally excited about.

I did not plan to have a nasty breakup with my ex whom I’ve been with for 8 years, did not plan to lose some friends, did not plan to gain some friends, did not plan to get a job before going for a vacation, did not plan to get into another relationship, did not plan to share my place with someone , did not plan to be sitting here with my nose blocked with eyes that sting a little as I type.
If life is so unpredictable, what’s the point of planning so much then? Sometimes one may just have drawn up the most perfect plan but things just happen, obstructs and the plan just wouldn’t fall through.

I somehow believe in what some may believe, PREDESTINY. Or another way to put it is that everything has already been foreseen by God.

Funny how we humans are so strong, smart yet so fragile, weak at the same time. We think we have control in everything we can get our hands on but sadly, we really don’t.

Sometimes accident happen just because we are a minute earlier or later, bump into someone because of a series events,…

Guess one just can’t  rely too much on our plans sometimes.

 

Time passed within a flick, I am currently working inside the gallery.

Setting up the Gallery

We’ve just moved into the gallery this week, working on makeshift tables and chairs as the furniture have yet to arrive. Have designed the namecards and flyers, and am now left with the brochure design. Currently, the gallery is not opened yet and therefore my working hours are pretty fixed, the usual 9-6 timing. However my boss has this brilliant idea that he wants the gallery to open when all the others are closed, so I’m afraid I might need to work till 9pm at night sometimes.

The first exhibition will be held in the mid of January and I am pretty excited about it. Mostly excited about the planning of a series of new workshops though. Will update on my ideas when i have something more concrete.