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Are you happy?

Not really.

Why?

I was being fooled by happiness.

How can that possibly happen?

How did that happen? 

Because some bloody guy comes and propose, not knowing what the real significance of the bloody ring means. 

The bloody ring doesn’t just mean that the female is yours and you can just give her crap and crap after crap. The bloody ring doesn’t mean that you can torture her with your emotional baggages and also your selfish childish whims.

The bloody ring doesn’t mean that she is stuck to your illusionised version of the world.

The bloody ring is not everything. Don’t freaking give a bloody diamond ring just to use that as a trump card all the time. 

 

 

I am sitting at my work desk now, counting the hours to knock off.

I’m totally not in a mood or rather can’t be productive today. You know, I am really starting to adapt to whatever life is throwing at me.

I am sad today. I feel like crying at every opportunity. I feel like running as fast as my legs can carry me. I feel like going somewhere far away alone and write poetry.

Despite all that, I know all these gloom I feel today will pass and I will be good again.

I’ve learnt much the past year.  I’ve learnt what’s heartbreak, losing someone, moving on, how to fight to stay strong, letting go, being patient, being the smaller person, tolerance.

It is sometimes demoralising to have to face setback after setback. However I feel myself gaining strength each time I crossed the obstacle. Sometimes I feel so alone, having to go through everything all by myself. I have great friends by my side but no matter how well they understand you, they are not you. They can never totally understand how you really feel.  At the same time, I get to know myself even more and become even more sure of myself.

So you out there might feel sad today or maybe sad one day just like how I am feeling now, but remember all will pass like the rain and the skies will be blue again.

I’ve always think I know.

What is love?

What is love to you?

Do we really know?

Hmm…something to ponder on..

What have we taken for granted?

The skies that are blue? Or the birds swirling around the fluffy white clouds. The trees that sway as the leaves sashay to the rhythm of the wind? The morning sun that filters through the gaps of the leaves, and then enters through the clear window, onto one’s cheek that it gently caresses?

What have we taken for granted?

The people walking at different pace; some in quick short steps and others in long steady strides? People laughing as their eyes twinkle with fine lines bordering the temple and people frowning with their eyebrows in a deep burrow.

What have we taken for granted?

The voice of a loved one in a dial; the ability to leave messages in every form. The friends who always pick up their phones and reply one’s messages; the friends who are always missing in action but turns up at the very critical moment when one needs him/her.

What have we taken for granted?

Parents who are always supportive and think too highly of their children; parents who are critical and always nagging but meant well. Parents who threaten to take everything away but still pay for everything in the end.

What have we taken for granted?

The ability to speak one’s mind, to see, to feel, to listen to the crickets which sing at night. The ability to chase for the bus, and type random tweets and updates. To wake up next to a significant other and be able to watch and hear his or her gentle breathing as his or her chest rises up and down.

What have we taken for granted?

The tears that sting one’s eyes, to feel the heart aching and in pain. The joy that overwhelms one’s heart and overrides all previous hurt. The ability to feel emotions and be human.

We who have eyes too often complain that the world is ugly.

We who have been hurt, find it hard to open up and love again. We people find plenty of masquerades for ourselves. We call it different things; we say we are just protecting ourselves, we say we are just wiser, we say we are more careful, we say we are more experienced. However the truth is that we are just masking our cowardice. Not being able to love again or be nice or be kind again because one is afraid to get hurt again, does not make us stronger, wiser or more mature.

And then we take the things around us for granted unknowingly. We take for granted the people who were genuinely kind to us, people who had potential to be our best friends or even lovers, people who accept us for who we are.

Have we taken communication for granted? How convenient it is to just ask someone how was his/her day, or to say thank you, to apologise, to say you miss them or to say you love them..but how often do we really do that?

What have we taken for granted?

” Good-byes make you think, they make you realize what you’ve had, what you’ve lost, and what you’ve taken for granted.”